Saturday, 12 September 2009

Paint, Brushes and Goodbyes

I think i'll stop trying to paint, put my brushes down and pack away my colours. Canvasses can remain white, they have no need of my embellishments. Paint can stay in tubes. The assorted brushes displayed like dried flowers splayed in their sturdy pot, have stopped dreaming of thick paint and swirling water.

It had its moment, when inspiration and colour were a heady mix, creativity poured and splashed onto surfaces, it couldn't be contained it had to flow. The pictures needed to be seen, the colours absorbed, it was a joy, a primal urge.

I have carried the memory like a crumpled photo of a long gone lover. Awaiting the day when that fiery desire would once again run through my veins and beg to be released onto that virgin page. Creativity unleashed on a white canvas, pictures and stories appearing in the paint in front of my smitten eyes.

That golden moment has never returned and I'm not waiting any more.
It's time to put down this torch I have been carrying, say my final goodbyes and mourn for that time when it was easy and paint and I were lovers.

17 comments:

Missy Ricco said...

you might find that once denied the right to do so, your Muse will start to pester you once more to let her
dance upon that open, white stage.

Susannah said...

Hey, Missy Ricco - thanks for that thought - you may just be right!

I love the line - "your Muse will start to pester you once more to let her dance upon that open, white stage"
- beautiful :-)

Thanks for dropping in and for your comment, much appreciated.

Oriana said...

Oh my..."say my final goodbyes and mourn for that time when it was easy and paint and I were lovers." I can relate, as I rarely have time to paint anymore and I miss it terribly. If I were you, I wouldn't rule out the possibility of inspiration returning one day. Or perhaps there are new mediums to invent? You ARE pure creativity, regardless!

Susannah said...

Hi Oriana :-)

Yes, I suspect that you are right and my painting inspiration will return one day completely unannounced and take me by surprise.

Thanks for dropping in, it is always good to hear from you.

Mary said...

Susannah, I love this piece. In fact, I empathize with it. It was beautifully written, poetically expressed. I have various artistic implements here too. I hope to return to them someday. I am not ready quite yet to mourn.

Paul Andrew Russell said...

Oh to be talented enough to be able to paint! A gift that eludes me.

Nice writing, Susannah.

Susannah said...

Mary, I finally did pack mine away but I am still waiting for the day the urge resurfaces! But in freeing up the energy I have begun writing again which is good.

Thanks very much for dropping in and reading, it is good to see you. :-)

Susannah said...

Hello Paul, thanks for visiting. I hope all is well with you. :-)

Sherry Blue Sky said...

"when paint and I were lovers"......a beautifully sad line......your words paint amazing pictures. One day you'll paint again!

Jingle said...

awesome write,
thanks for the inspiration.

Diane T said...

I never did art work, until I decided to illustrate two children's books. I was amazed at how well I did, but I've sort of lost interest now. So, I understand!

Judy Roney said...

This is amazing Susannah. I paint and I felt the fear that I often feel that I will just stop painting or no longer have inspiration to paint. That's a scary thought.
I love your words, like "brushes displayed like dried flowers" and "creativity poured and splashed onto surfaces" to name a few. Very good plaintive poem.
I hope your desire to paint returns though.

Susannah said...

Thanks very much for taking the time to read this, I appreciate it very much.

Sherry, yes, I hope my painting phase will come around again...one day! :-)

Jingle, thank you. :-)

Diane, illustration for a childrens book, that must have been wonderful.

Judy, I used to have the fear that I would stop painting as I was always kind of bemused that I was actually doing it! I would be totally amazed at each painting I produced. :-)

I am sure it will come around again one day. Like writing has.

Good to see you here and very nice to meet you. :-)

Carrie Burtt said...

Susannah you are talented in so many ways! This poem is amazing and inspiring! :-)

Susannah said...

Carrie, it's good to see you. Thanks very much for reading. :-)

patcegan said...

Hi, saw your comment on Harry's blog about his new painting. Interesting that you stopped painting. Creativity, of course, can change media. As it is our way of connecting to the Divine, for me, it is a must but comes out in a variety of ways, i.e., poetry, painting, gardening and creating landscape paintings and mandalas. I expect that because Harry's painting reminded you of your first abstract paining, it is a message that you will soon feel called to connect through your art again. Regardless of what media you use, we are co-creators with THE Creator, so we must create. Hugs, pat

Susannah said...

Hi Pat, yes I totally agree with you. My creative urge is always there and as you say it swaps its avenues of expression. At present, it flows easier in words but my paints are still on my desk...waiting. ;-)

Thanks very much for dropping by and for your comment. It is good to meet you. x

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