Tuesday, 7 September 2010

Them

*
She was
luminous, lit up
she bent like a willow
so that she wouldn't break
touching the ground
with green fingers
she was reaching
down into the
earth

he
studied
the negative
stroking the surface
polishing the reflections
and making them
shine

Between them
the electrons flowed
completing a circuit
so much electricity
you could feel it
crackling
in the
air

*

- Susannah Bec 2010

This was written for a prompt - the three prompt words to be used were - break, negative, surface
Taken from my prompt writing blog - Panopticulated

14 comments:

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Great response to the prompt! I especially love "luminous, lit up she bent like a willow", and the green fingers reaching down into the earth. And the "crackling in the air." Good one!

Susannah said...

Thanks Sherry. :-)

Ladan said...

I love this its so magical.

Susannah said...

Thanks Ladan.

It's good to see you. :-)

Kerry O'Connor said...

I love everything about this poem - its shape, its heady idea of passion and each carefully chosen word.

Tanith said...

I lov ethis entire poem!! Its so nature and passion rolled into one big ball of yum! I especially loved

"so much electricity
you could feel it
crackling
in the
air"

It is a great end to the poem. I really enjoyed reading this 3 or 4 times lol. xoxo Nith

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Love it, Susannah, mo dose of Romance for the day - (I live vicariously, if at all, hee hee) You write so wonderfully.

Fireblossom said...

And isn't it beautiful when that happens? :-) I'm smiling here.

Kim Nelson said...

Really effective combination of form and message, Susannah.

Paul Andrew Russell said...

I like the visual form of this, Susannah, and the words are beautiful. A lovely poem.

Eileen T O'Neill ..... said...

Susannah,
I read your words and a connection was very obvious!
Very clever....

Best wishes, Eileen

Susannah said...

Hey everyone, great to see you and thanks so much for the comments. x

Rachel Hoyt said...

Your words are electrifying. :) I love the shape of the poem as well.

My Poetry Pantry poems: The Likido Diet, Mood Rings of the Future, and Smiley Sociology Study #3 – Time Travel (a link exchange / writing prompt).

Jingle Poetry said...

outstanding poem,
love the imagery and more.
keep it up.
xoxox

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