Tuesday, 19 October 2010

Long Shadows

Long shadows, lick
the cold grey of the building
climbing its sides
as the paint yellow sun
sinks low
behind the factory units
with their
gaping mouths
and bland exteriors
and...
just for a brief moment
in that particular slant of light
the reflection
cast in the smeared
and dirty window panes
takes my breath away
with its squalor and its
strange illuminated beauty



Written today as I sat in the car park of an industrial estate.
Posted here for week 16 of One Shot Wednesday at One Stop Poetry - My first time. :-)

27 comments:

Brian Miller said...

that was wicked cool...i love your descriptors...shadows lick...yay! could see it all and it was beautiful....great one shot!

Susannah said...

Thanks Brian. :-)

tuberider said...

Lovely poem, great contrast, reminded me a bit of Bukowski!

Steve said...

Striking word choices, semi-abstract in its metropolitan(?) setting - sharp, effective.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Wow, so neat that you found beauty in a most unexpected place.......truly seeing with a poet's eyes. Good one, Susannah!

June_Butterfly said...

Always amazing how a situation or a place can make us bring beautiful words together.

Beautiful description.Sometimes I get so down with how limited my vocabulary is.Reading other people's works add to my box of words.And this one sure did.

moondustwriter said...

Love the imagery. Shadows that lick wall that are bleak yet have interesting character

Nice One Shot

Just a reminder that we would love you to enter the One Stop Competition (ends oct 22).

Moon Smiles

signed...bkm said...

i love it and totally see those long shadows on grey buildings and for a moment in a certain light..it is beauty....very nice...bkm

Deborah said...

Brilliant!

Gramma Ann said...

Very descriptive, I felt like I was setting on the bench with you.

Thanks for the visit and the nice comment.

Rashmi said...

Beautiful!
"takes my breath away
with its squalor and its
strange illuminated beauty".

Beautiful descritption..I agree with June Butterfly.I am very limited in vocabulary and am improving by reading other's work,the people like you who writes so innocently beautiful..

SuziCate said...

This has fabulous imagery! Took my breath away!

Victoria said...

Susannah--I love what you did with this. Your use of verbs just bring it alive...just what I talked about in my "Wordsmith Wed," post yesterday.

Thanks for commenting on mine.

dustus said...

Makes me stop and reconsider what is "beautiful." Thought-provoking poem.

Susannah said...

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate you reading and taking the time to comment. It is much appreciated. :-)

Shashi said...

Very intereting and I enjoyed every bit of it...

ॐ नमः शिवाय
Om Namah Shivaya
Twitter: @VerseEveryDay
Blog: http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/

Belinda said...

Gorgeous! I saw what you saw.

Aging Mommy said...

I love this - there is beauty to be found in everything, if only we look long and hard enough. Congratulations on a very wonderful first One Shot.

Eric Alder said...

A similar notion occurred to me the other day that anything can be beautiful if seen the right way.

(Actually, I was specifically thinking about photography at the time, but this applies in a wider sense as well)

Pete Marshall said...

i thought that was very well written and so true..beauty is to be found anywhere if you look hard enough..a great one shot

Amanda said...

Amazingly descriptive and so full of imagery, I loved the read my friend xxx

PattiKen said...

Very nice. You have the poet's eye, able to see beyond the everyday to the beauty that lies within.

mommylebron said...

Not only were you able to see beauty in an unexpected place, you were able to capture it with your eloquent words and share it in a way that made me feel like I was right there. Lovely!

moondustwriter said...

wanted to stop by again and thank you for stopping by One Shot this week. It is because of poets like you that we have such inspiring words to read. Please feel welcome any Wednesday

Moon Smiles for the One Stop Team

marousia said...

This poem has great rhythm

Michaela said...

Oh yes, as Brian says, I can see it too.. the shadows lick.. wonderful!

Old Ollie said...

This poem is excellent - pursue this style.

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