Thursday, 23 June 2011

The Missing Sky. . .

one moment
and all its nuances
fell from the long gone hour

like an edge dweller, a maverick
a loner screaming at the wind

and in its outstretched hand
layed the silent moon

like a peach
like a pebble
like an untold story

it knocked me over with its silent glare
with its unspoken prayer, with its modesty

and it stung like a nettle
a barb wrought from metal

jagged and potent
it burrowed like shrapnel
stinging and singing under my skin

.
© Susannah Bec 2011

31 comments:

annell said...

The Missing Sky is so beautiful! I love the "silent moon, and the unspoken prayer, stinging and singing under my skin!"

Susannah said...

Thank you very much Annell. x

Sherry Blue Sky said...

"a loner screaming at the wind".......this poem is barbed, like the one wrought from metal, and pokes under my skin, in just the way you relate. Terrific writing! You nailed it!

Susannah said...

Thanks Sherry. :-)

Cassiopeia Rises said...

Lovely words and images. Excellent work....


Melanie

Susannah said...

Thanks very much Melanie. :-) It is good to meet you.

Laurie Kolp said...

Lovely images and contrasts here... a pleasurable read!

Susannah said...

Thanks Laurie. it is good to meet you. :-)

echo said...

this is one of those tiny little poems that grows and reveals more with each reading. I love it, and find it like a peach, both sharp and sweet.

Dixie / echo

Susannah said...

Good to see you here Dixie, and thanks very much for your comment. ;-)

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Wonderful writing. I love the image of the moon in the hand "like a peach like a pebble like an untold story". Wowzers, kiddo!

Kerry O'Connor said...

Just beautiful, beautiful words...

and in its outstretched hand
layed the silent moon

like a peach
like a pebble
like an untold story

Marian said...

whoosh, a powerful moment.

booguloo said...

That's quite an encounter. Stinging and singing.

Susannah said...

Thanks very much everyone for your kind comments, they are much appreciated. Good to see you all here, thanks for visiting. x

Old Raven said...

Very good, especially the second half.

Elizabeth said...

Am going to try again, and hope the comment takes. I love this poem, its mystery and imagery, its rhythm and tone.

Elizabeth

Neva Flores said...

beauty.......pain and pleasure all wrapped up in one......lovely!

Indigo's flow said...

Excellent poem Susannah

mindlovemisery said...

I really loved this one! You have talent a way with words that's so graceful

Susannah said...

Thanks everyone for your kind comments. :-)

It is very good to meet those of you I haven't met before and it is always wonderful to see old friends. x

Victoria said...

Susannah, I am so happy to have found your writings today. I am a lover of moon and sea and words that float and sing like yours do. I'm just singing up to follow your blog.

Warren said...

Gorgeous, Susannah - You have a beautiful mind and evoke wonderful emotion with your words. Thanks for sharing.

Warren

renee said...

What can I say?!? Your descriptive words say so much more than I have thought of the vastness the sky can hold and it is such a wonder!

Susannah said...

Victoria, Warren and Renee, thank you. :-)

It is good to meet those of you I haven't met before. x

Jingle said...

kind of haunting, yet elegant and well done.

Jo Bryant said...

WOW - like a peach
like a pebble
like an untold story

so great. :)

ebbtide said...

Lovely

Kim Nelson said...

I read and re-read this Susannah, playing with cadence and accent. The bottom line? No matter how I marked or paused, the raw emotions announced themselves.

The Unknowngnome said...

Much music in this! Well done Susannah.

Susannah said...

Thanks very much for your kind comments everyone. :-)

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