Tuesday, 23 August 2011

Love or Something Like it . . .

Graffiti stained granite,

daubed with the markings of life.

Incendiary slogans shout for freedom,

there's a revolution in the making.

The too handsome stranger

has words that spin like plates,

and sparkle like screw top bottles,

all fizz and wasted glass.

Straight backed, he will not slouch,

though fervant desperation

spills from the cracked

cheap vessel of him.

She sweeps up the cold ash

as it falls from his burnt out life.

Cleansed of all her preconceptions,

she is taken by his strange beauty,

enchanted by the wild shine of his eyes,

and the way that the afternoon light

falls gently around his shoulders,

like a cloak.


written for this prompt

24 comments:

sharplittlepencil said...

Now THIS is a great take on the Wordle, and I'm glad I didn't see it before I wrote mine, because, like Viv always says, we are both rendered shy when we read a great response to a prompt. Loved this, and glad I thought to click on this blog on your header, Susannah. Peace, Amy (What's this fascination with strange men we share?!)
http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/08/22/the-big-change-poetic-bloomings/

Susannah said...

Good to see you here Amy and thanks for your kind words. :-)

I really enjoyed your response to this wordle and know what you mean about not reading other peoples first! I'd never post anything if I did. LOL

Lorna Cahall said...

Love the screw-top bottle part!!
Very, very good.
Lorna Cahall

Susannah said...

Thanks very much Lorna. Good to see you. :-)

Rajesh said...

Sue,

The wind blows in a different direction in this one :) From the vibrant greens of your earlier lines, these are so different in their greys.

"She sweeps up the cold ash/ as it falls from his burnt out life." Almost out of a Shakespeare play.

Beautiful and different.

Susannah said...

Thanks very much Rajesh. It is alwats good to see you. :-)

MM said...

Agree with what Lorna said, the screw-top bottle part is my favourite too, very Bob Dylanesque:)

Susannah said...

Thanks MM, that's a real compliment. :-)

Good to meet you.

andshewasdrowning said...

I adore this, especially the obscurity of the ending. Amazing writing.

Susannah said...

Thanks andshewas, it is good to see you back. :-)x

Cletis L. Stump said...

Hey, how do you know so much about me?

Tiaden said...

This is a beautifully crafted piece, I love the flow of it and that ending

Susannah said...

Cletis. :-)

Good to see you. x

Susannah said...

Tiaden, thank you very much. :-)

Robert Lloyd said...

I have to say that although the poem was about love I had an image of a man who sells snake oil in my head. A stranger just pulled into town to sell you something possibly love.

The too handsome stranger
has words that spin like plates,
and sparkle like screw top bottles,
all fizz and wasted glass.

I can see a talk dark handsome man reaching out to take our money as we stare on. Thank you for the vision. As I always I love your way with words and need to visit more often.

Susannah said...

Good to see you Robb! I have missed seeing you around. :-)

Kim Nelson said...

I felt the attraction between characters, the heat and the details of surroundings. Nicely done, Susannah.

Susannah said...

Thanks very much Kim, it is always good to see you. x

Renee said...

Beautiful words and beautifully written, Susannah. Haven't been here for awhile but never disappointed to find something wonderful when I come.

Susannah said...

Thanks so much Renee. :-) It is really good to see you again. x

Ed Pilolla said...

strange beauty and wild shine in the eyes often get me, too:)
there's a sense of taboo attraction and love here that draws me in quickly and fiercely. maybe because the character is a rebel tagger:)

Susannah said...

:-) Thanks for dropping in Ed and for your comment. It is good to see you here.

Stoic-wes said...

So much to like and respect about your writing consistently beautiful deep work..

Susannah said...

Thanks so much stoic-wes, I really appreciate your comment.

Good to see you.

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