Saturday, 10 December 2011

Trying not to move

It was a shallow hollow
in which she kept
her misery.

No depth at all.

In fact
the slightest motion
would set it moving.

Like a mini tidal wave.

Back and forth,
gaining momentum.

Until it would slosh
over the edges
and run
her pensive face

the limescale trails
of its watercourse.

And then
splish, splash
onto the ground.

the shiny shoes
and cheerful gait
of those who were passing.

She tried to keep it inside,
she really did.

But she found
the constant stillness
so very very hard to bear.

Written for Three Word Wednesday


Sheila Moore said...

the image of not being able to move without spilling misery is so very heart-breaking and the last stanza makes me want to cry for her :( (I like how you wrote "down" veritcally - nice touch)

Martin (starwatcher521) said...

A very touching poem. LOve and light to you : )

Susannah said...

Thanks very much. :-)

It is good to see you both. x

Renee said...

Beautifully written Susannah. I so like " a shallow hollow in which she kept her misery". Perhaps not but sadness in the words but emotions spilling over.

Susannah said...

Good to see you Renee. x

Susie Clevenger said...

The pain is so strong in this one...I found myself is sad but a beautiful poem...

Susannah said...

Thanks Susie. x

Mary said...

Very moving poem, Susannah. (Just discovering this one this morning)The strongest of images for me is the constant stillness being hard to bear. Sometimes one needs something, anything, to just break that stillness!

Susannah said...

Thanks very much Mary. Good to see you. x

brenda w said...

This is lush wet sadness.

Laurie Kolp said...

The form is very effective here. I really enjoyed this, Susannah.

Susannah said...

Thanks Brenda and Laurie. :-)

Good to see you both. x

Ostensible Truth said...

I thought I had reviewed this the other day, I must be going mad - anyways - I loved it - the tone - the imagery, phrasing, everything combines to give one hell of a poem - touching and powerful - I enjoyed this Susannah! happy new year :)

Susannah said...

Thanks very much OT. :-)

It is good to see you! A very happy new year to you too.

Paul Andrew Russell said...

This is very nice, Susannah. I love the imagery of the shallow hollow. Misery is all too often bubbling away just below the surface of a person. One movement and it all comes spilling out.

This is a lovely piece of writing.


Susannah said...

Cheers Paul. :-) It's good to see you here. x

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