Wednesday, 17 March 2010

A Hole In my Persona


You poked a hole in my persona

fragile and brittle it disintegrated

into your careless hands and fell

in tattered threads to the floor


You swept up the little tiny pieces

with your big hard bristled brush

collecting each and every fragment

that had hidden my true identity


I stood there, vulnerable and exposed

I was shining, bare faced and naked

With no mask to shield you from my light

you covered your eyes and looked away


- Susannah Bec 2010

26 comments:

Michaela said...

Wow!

Suz said...

boy there is much
in this poem

no blame....only sorrow
then gratitude

Susannah said...

Michaela and Suz - thank you. x

June_Butterfly said...

I guess it's really hard to bare one's self and be vulnerable to others.

Beautiful words.

Susannah said...

Thank you June Butterfly. :-)

Crepuscule Colour said...

Tells a story so wonderfully.. beautiful :)

Susannah said...

Thanks so much. :-)

Mary said...

Oh, Susannah, this poem expresses PAIN so well. Gut wrenching ly good.

Marian said...

ugh, i wanted the end to be different.
sigh.

Kerry O'Connor said...

Oh this is absolutely spectacular writing... each line takes a little away from the speaker, stripping the defenses, until it becomes clear who is really defenseless. Just excellent.

Susannah said...

Thanks Mary. :-) Good to see you here.

Susannah said...

Marian, sorry you didn't like the end - I couldn't imagine a better one. ;-)

Susannah said...

Thank you so much Kerry. So glad you 'got' it! ;-)

Good to see you. x

Eileen T O'Neill ..... said...

Susannah,

Hurt to the very core......
Strong emotions.

Eileen

Greyscale Territory said...

A magical, descriptive exploration of disconnection! And great to see that pure light can still turn soiled darkness away!

Susannah said...

Hi Eileen, thanks for visiting, it is good to see you. :-)

Susannah said...

Greyscale, thank you so much for your perceptive comment. :-)

...And great to see that pure light can still turn soiled darkness away!

Wonderful!

Thank you for visiting, it is good to see you. x

CC Champagne said...

Very powerful. Thank you for sharing what sounds like really tough emotions (I recognise them)!

bttrflyscar said...

this is so meaningful to me. I love poems about identity. thrilling.

Old Raven said...

This is wonderful ... painful ... truthful.

Andy McDonald said...

I like it. Identity is such a brilliant raw subject.

booguloo said...

He couldn't look at your love and true beauty knowing he unmasked you in his shame.

Susannah said...

Thanks very much for your comments, they are much appreciated.

And to those of you that I haven't met before...hello, it is a pleasure to meet you. :-)

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Wow, this is powerful, Susannah. Well done!

Jinksy said...

Oh, yes - let your light shine. :)

Susannah said...

Sherry, thank you. :-)

Jinksy, I will/do! :-)

Good to see you both. :-)

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...